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Date: February 27, 2010

Books & DVDs Kingdom Chums by SQuire Rushnell Read Our Letter To Parents When God Winks on New Beginnings by SQuire Rushnell Sale Price: $15.98 When God Winks by SQuire Rushnell Sale Price: $16.00 When God Winks on Love by SQuire Rushnell Sale Price: $14.98 When God Winks at You by SQuire Rushnell Sale Price: $17.99

I was 20 years old and pregnant. I didn't want to have a baby. I never babysat for extra cash and I never changed a diaper. I knew the father of my child wouldn't be there for me just like his father was never there for him. I also knew that my parents most likely wouldn't talk to me for my irresponsible behavior in getting pregnant. I was terrified and didn't know what to do. I was afraid of having a baby but I was also afraid for my soul. I went to my pastor at the time and sought his advice. He said that he couldn't tell me what to do, but that I should pray about it. He said not just any prayer, talk to god the way I was speaking to him, ask for a unmistakable sign and give a deadline.

I made a plan that I would follow what I wanted and then allow God to stop me if it was not the right choice for me. My first thought was to have an abortion. I called the local Planned Parenthood and scheduled a pregnancy test. I filled out lots of paperwork and took a urine test. They gave me a piece of paper that verified that I was pregnant. They told me that I would need it for my next appointment and that if I didn't have with me at that time they couldn't provide services. I spoke with a counselor for at least 30 minutes. They wanted to make sure that I wouldn't regret my decision and told me all about adoption and other support services for young single mothers. In all, I spent at least an hour there (that's important to know). I made my decision and scheduled an abortion. I had two weeks to wait.

I prayed that night and I spoke candidly with God. I told him my fears of being a single mom with no family support, fears for having a baby that I knew in the end wouldn't have a dad, and my fears for my soul if I had an abortion and how God would consider me if I had one. I asked for a clear sign, one I couldn't mistake for a coincidence and I needed it before my appointment. I explained to God how I really was too scared to have a baby so I would be inclined to mistake a little sign with a coincidence.

A week went by with no sign. So I kept on schedule for my appointment. A few days before my appointment, I couldn't find my pregnancy slip. I knew I needed it and really didn't consider that a sign from heaven. I just was just being irresponsible again. I went down to the same Planned Parenthood that I took the pregnancy test to get another copy. When I got there, the lady that had been so kind to me didn't recognize me at all, they had no record of my pregnancy test, none of the paperwork that I filled out and the counselor that I spent time with didn't recognize me either. I couldn't believe it. I was stunned and so I just left.

I had received the answer to my prayer in the biggest way possible. How can they not remember? I was terrified but I now knew my path, I was going to have a baby based on faith. I found my slip after I had her and laughed and put it in her baby book where it sits today. Eighteen years later, I have a beautiful, talented daughter. I had so much fun raising her. Today, she's a college student and plays on a Division One softball team. She knew from the time she was 5 years old that she wanted to be a teacher and is currently a School of Education student.

My family was there for me and helped me to raise her and fill her with enough love and support to create such a wonderful young lady. She never knew her dad, but my dad made her feel like she always had one. She knows our faith story. She's knows she's a present from God to her mother and how lucky we are to have one another. And now she knows she's a God's wink at a mother.

On Christmas this year, Makayla gave me your book and wrote a note about God winking at her. It read "Mom, God winked at you when I came into your life and he's winked in mine. When I saw this book I thought of you. I thought since you wouldn't have me without a wink, I should give you this story with a whole bunch of winks just to remind you that they are always out there. I love you. Merry Christmas."

I feel so blessed to have this story to share with you.

Kim